Pixelicious: How do you sleep at night?

How do you sleep at night?

Thursday June 22, 2006 - Permanent link to this post -

Miles has always been a good baby. He is the very model of a good little boy (despite the odd mischievous act like posting our mobile phones down the back of the radiator). During the day, he's a superstar. Bright as a button. He plays all day, welcomes me home from work with a smile and a big hug. I bath him and give him his evening bottle of milk before putting him down in his cot fast asleep by about 8pm. For a few hours, all is quiet. Then the monster awakes.

For the first six months of his life Miles slept very well. He would routinely sleep all the way through the night; sometimes for 12 hours or more. After that 6 month mark he started waking up occasionally. He'd be a little upset so we'd go into his room. All that was usually required was his dummy and he'd be straight back to sleep.

As time's gone on though these wakings have become more frequent, and considerably louder. He no longer looks for his dummy when he wakes up. He no longer goes straight back to sleep when we settle him. The only thing we can do (and I realise we've made a rod for our own back by doing this) is pick him up and cuddle him back to sleep. For the last couple of months though, even this hasn't been enough. He takes so long to settle down, and even when apparently fast asleep he'll not go back down in his cot without resuming the noise-making. For our own sanity and for the sake of just having a lay down, we end up taking him into our bed.

Miles is now 14 months old. Myself and Nicki have not had a full night's sleep in months. We're zombies. We are the living dead. In the few hours grace that we do get between Miles' nocturnal outbursts, we can't rest. We know it's coming.

We've got to break this. We need to change this habit that we've all got into.

I know that other parents read this blog. I know that most of them have probably had this same problem. I'm appealing for advice. What's worked or not worked for you and your kids? Do we just need to change our sleep/wake cycle from night/day to some crazy broken up pattern of powernaps? Do any of you know of any good drugs, either for ourselves or The Boy? Your advice please. PLEASE. OH PLEASE!!!

On 22 June, 19:42, mum did say:
I know just what you’re going through. My two boys were just the same. We tried everything, to no avail. The only reassurance I can give you is that Miles will eventually sleep through again. There will, in fact, come a time when you can’t belive how he can possibly sleep for so long! The wonder of it all is that although the broken nights take such a toll on you & Nicki they’ll have very little effect on Miles and if he follows in the same footsteps as his dad and uncle (which he is doing so far) he will grow into a son to be proud of. It’s a sign of intelligence!
On 22 June, 22:11, Matthew Pennell did say:
Ours have never been too bad, although they take an age to settle down to bed now.

I remember reading (and if not it makes sense anyway) that you shouldn’t rock children back to sleep because when they next awake and discover they’re no longer in your arms it’s pretty upsetting, which is why they wake up and cry again.

What has always worked for us is books. Reading to them (or just describing the room, their toys, whatever) in a low, sing-song, lullaby voice calms them down and gets them used to things being quiet and peaceful. I also try to encourage a general sense of everything and everyone going to sleep – the toys are very tired, all the people that she knows from playgroup are asleep – sometimes I pick her up to look out of the window (across a playing field and houses) to see if we can see anyone… “Can you see anyone? Are any of the children out there? What about Misty [next door’s dog]? No – they’ve all gone to bed, they’re all asleep!”

Aside from that advice, the best thing to do is ignore it. Time yourself – let him cry for 15 minutes without you going in. It might take a few nights, but eventually he’ll learn that crying doesn’t get what he wants (attention) and he’ll stop.
On 3 July, 13:04, Nathan Pitman did say:
Hi Pete, I think that you already know what you both need to do to break the cycle. You just need to bite the bullet and accept that for a week perhaps you will have to leave Miles to put himself back to sleep and stop yourselves from becoming too upset by his crying.

It seems harsh but he will very quickly adapt to your new stance. Obviously you should go in initially to check that he is ok, but don’t pick him up or interact with him. Just check all is right, lay him down if he is standing and leave the room. Give him 10 to 15 minutes and repeat if he hasn’t gone to sleep. Our 2nd daughter Isla was playing up at night much like Miles at one point and cried for 45 minutes on the first night of our ‘tough approach’ but the night following it dropped to 15 minutes, then 7 or 8, then following that she didn’t wake.

Resorting to bringing your child into your bed is an easy trap to fall into when you’re tired and desperate for sleep, but as you know the longer you leave it, the harder the cycle will become to break.

Good luck! :)