Pixelicious: The Boss is off

The Boss is off

Tuesday November 1, 2005 - Permanent link to this post -

As I type this post, my boss, Kevin Hugh Jones is in an IM window begging me to blog his news. He's off, you see. He's resigned from his place of work for the last five or so years and is leaving on Thursday for pastures new which will remain for security's sake, unspecified.

Kev, or Kevin Jones for those of you who don't know him has been my line manager for almost four years. He's been a great boss. He has a pretty good idea what he's doing most of the time. For instance, he nearly always gets my name right. Being the only person reporting to him, I really appreciated that familiarity.

Over the years I've come to know Kev personally as well as professionally. I've learned a few things about him. He's good at tennis for about three games and then he gets tired and subsequently gets thrashed. He drinks girls drinks (I mean that he prefers feminine beverages, not that he steals drinks from girls). He likes his Peugeot cars. I think he's got about five. One of them's got no insides and another has no engine. He likes badminton but can't stand when people don't take it seriously or wear sweatbands on their head. He has a sense of humour (in that he hasn't had me sacked for making constant short-jokes about him). He hates team sports but likes Formula One, and insists that it's a sport, but not a team sport. He's only 3ft 9in tall.

And now he's going. The office is going to seem ever so slightly emptier. I promised him a fitting tribute, but unfortunately I couldn't find a tribute small enough to fit, so this one will have to do.

Oh and Kev, I'm sorry I didn't use any of the adjectives you sent me. “Incredible, amazing, considerate, bijou, tolerant, intelligent, multi-skilled, compact, focused, personable, approachable, amazing again...”

Leaving drinks will be in the usual place at the usual time. Is it a bad thing that my company has a regular place and time for leaving drinks?

On 1 November, 23:13, Kev J did say:
Alas, it is true. It is the end of an era and I’ve finally reached the front of the rat-queue aboard HMS Jarvis and been handed my (mini-sized) life jacket…

Peter, you’ve been a loyal subject for many years and I’m sure I’ve learned a lot (through natural osmosis, not through listening to anything you say) from our career together.

I’d like to publicly thank you for all your hard work… Hard work… you remember… that Thursday about 18 months ago when you stayed behind for a few minutes to finish off that design…. appreciated!

But no, seriously, it’s been a pleasure to work with you, and I wish you all the best for your future. I don’t doubt you’ll go far. Any prospective employers reading this, employ this man he’ll do you proud. Anyone from Jarvis reading this, check out Pete’s proxy log, he spends all day on the net….

I would also just like to correct a few of the points above:

1) I did not ‘beg’ for my news to be blogged. I merely suggested it would be a fitting, and respectful tribute to someone who has nurtured and mentored you for so long.

2) I’m sure I didn’t ALWAYS get thrashed at tennis. Any ‘thrashing’ can only be a sign of not taking it seriously, which I think cancels out your total annhiliation at badminton (you sweat-band wearing ponce!)

3) There’s nothing wrong with girlie drinks. Beer gives me wind.

4) I did not include ‘bijou’ or ‘compact’ in my suggested adjective list. I also take offense at your regular mention of my diminutive stature.

5) Finally, I think the picture needs some further explanation. I was suffering a particularly serious case of otis externa which meant i needed tri-daily ear smoothing drops. Having my photograph taken, and later distributed on the internet, is highly inappropriate and, I consider, an example of your regular discrimination!

Thank you for listening.

Peter, good luck with everything.

The Boss.

<sheds a tear>
On 3 November, 12:59, Olly did say:
Our place has a familiar time and place for leaving drinks too :)
On 4 November, 10:07, Ally did say:
Beer gives me wind too :)
On 7 November, 14:59, Boothylass did say:
Byeeeeeeeeee Kev, have fun ! Am I the only other person who actually knows who Kev is? You have done an amazing job putting up with Pete all those years! And its not that you are small, its that Pete, hes HUGE !
Boothylass x
On 11 November, 22:11, Pullyboy did say:
I wish I could say goodbye but I’ve got to say hello it’s good to be working with you again [clearly untrue], as you keep following me around. When are you going to take the hint that I don’t like you :)

Remember I have control of your career now so just be careful….the only way is down.

Come on Boothylass he is small, I’m not that tall but he is a midget compared to me.
On 16 November, 15:51, Peter J Lambert did say:
Clive, you are so drunk.
On 17 November, 19:06, khj100 did say:
Am I still the most interesting thing in your life, Pete? I can’t believe nothing blog-worthy has happened since i left. I’ve moved on man, so should you!

Anyway, it’s like a Jarvis hall of fame on this comments thread isn’t it…

Boothylass, nice to hear from you again. Or should I said, C’est tres nice de ecouter from vous, encore un fois. Qu’est-ce que c’est pour aller a la gare, s’il vous plait? Hope the family are well anyway. I believe Pete wants to involve me in his life now he doesn’t have to work with me anymore, so maybe I’ll see you at a family reunion… I am family, yeah?

And Pullen, knob off! I think we all know I’m the senior one of the two of us… Control of my career…. HAHAHHAHH. HAHA. HA.

HAHA….

Oh man that’s funny.