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My Accidental Communism

Tuesday May 3, 2005 - Permanent link to this post -

I was talking to a Russian/Czech/Canadian friend of mine a few nights ago when I was reminded of a story I've not told in a while. Having dined out on this tale for years, I was surprised that I'd never thought to blog it. So here it is.

Back in the Summer of 1995, at the tender age of 14 I was finding my feet in music, politics and belief. My friends were doing the same, but really I was following them, sheep-like through their journey. My friends were desperate to be different, and I was desperate to be as different as they were. (I know).

That Summer, Heineken were holding a large free music festival at Roundhay Park in Leeds. The free tickets were like rocking horse shit. We needed to be there on the Saturday to see Pulp and Chumbawamba, but we just couldn't get hold of them.

Enter, Dave from the Schools Campaign Against Militarism. On a day out in Leeds, my friends Adam and Keiron bumped into Dave, an English teacher who was leafletting against nuclear war. Adam and Keiron (15yr old boys at the time) spent some time chatting to this stranger in the street and after some time, persuaded them to join his cause. In fact, he had spare tickets for the Saturday at the Heineken Festival. They came back from Leeds, told us about the tickets and that was that, Adam, Keiron, myself and a few other friends joined the Schools Campaign Against Militarism (it's SCAM. Did you figure that out yet?).

The festival was great fun. We got in free, sold some pin badges and magazines whilst being chased around the park by Security, and watched some great bands. We were introduced to the SCAM guys (including “Rupert� with the tartan trousers) who bought us beer and shared their sandwiches. They even introduced us to girls they new. This was great. SCAM was ace!

After the festival, we, the politically minded youth with something to say about nuclear weapons went on rallies and marches with the CND, although we were told that SCAM didn't get on with CND and that they weren't to be trusted. We were never told why, but we hurled abuse at them during marches anyway. We went to conferences in Manchester and Sheffield. We had meetings with the Regional SCAM group in the upstairs room of a dingy pub in Leeds. We even set up our own branch, under the supervision of Dave, to serve Bradford schools.

It was around this point that my concerned Mother, having done research on the internet, through the Police and I think even via the Home Office to see how legit of an organisation SCAM was, discovered their true motives. SCAM were headed and run by the British Communist Party. Basically, the Campaign Against Militarism was a front for recruiting young Communists. To be honest, at that point we didn't really care. We didn't really know what communism was and we were having fun trying to stop war. There was a SCAM Bradford meeting at Adam's house the next night.

We were all there, ready to hear our next instructions from our leader. And he brought... a comprehension test. Ever the English Teacher, Dave had brought us a passage from Marx to read and answer questions on later. We sat down in the living room, photocopies in hand and started to read. One by one my friends left the room to go to the toilet, or the kitchen, or for a smoke and didn't come back. I followed to discover that I was missing out on the mother of all food fights in the kitchen. Only Dave and my friend Rose were now left in the living room (Rose gets more commited to causes than most people. She went on to join a religious cult).

After a while Dave realised something wasn't right. He came to the kitchen to find seven teenagers playing dead on the floor, covererd in blancmange and tomato ketchup. He picked up his briefcase and left, never to be seen again.

So that was my brief brush with communism. It was a blast, but it didn't really work out in the end. Read into that what you will.

The only time I've ever been fooled into joining something since then was when I was given a scratchcard by a girl wearing a bomber jacket in Leeds Station. The scratchcard was a winner and I had a free trip for four people to Amsterdam, all I needed to do was join this club... but that's another story.

In writing this article, I had a quick Google to see if SCAM were still in existence or had any online presence. I found this interesting thread which backs up my Mum's discoveries. Well done Mum.

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